the story

I went on a date with this guy I am dating and everything was going great. Then somehow we got into the conversation of my past and he wondered since I had picked such bad guys in the past was there something wrong with him. So I told him "the story". I f8cking hate "the story" and afterwards I always feel like shit. Actually it's more than that, afterwards I went home ate a huge piece of chocolate and cried.

I wonder if he will still want to date me? I know I wish I wasn't me right now. Why do I even tell people? I don't even know because there is never a good reaction.

I would tell "the story" if I thought anyone was reading this and wanted to know. But it is a horrible piece of my life that transformed me. As I sit here with tears running down my face I wonder has counseling cured me of the evil I lived through or am I going to continue to punish myself as I have done in the past.